From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
When the rest of Heaven was blue
Of a demon in my view.
All but one of the last six days I have been completely alone when not at work, with no one on or off line to talk to. The one day people were here, it was a crowd here for gaming and I had not choice but to put on the happy face a pretend I was fine. Other than that slight interlude, I've had nothing but blood, pain and alchohol to ease my despair. I've lasted so far, but I'm afraid I might be becoming an alchoholic again. I doubt I'll have the will to defeat that demon a second time. I don't work tomorrow so I won't need to drink myself to sleep tonight. Hopefully I'll be able to leave the bottle alone. I can't afford to lose any more blood, so I guess that will leave me truly alone tonight. Heh. This is my life. Good to the last drop...
- Current Mood: discontent
- Current Music:System of a Down - "Lonely Day"